I was in the seventh grade. Pimples covering the better half of my face. The more I was teased the more my self esteem dwindled to its lowest percent. Society didn’t care about my inside appearance and what my heart looked like, so neither did I. Body image and self esteem, I’ve been there, and with the guidance of our creator Yah through his messiYah Yahoshua I will attempt to shine some light on this most important topic; because the way we talk, walk, behave, think, and feel, everything speaks.
Like many of you, I wasn’t taught the importance of appearance. Our appearance however plays a very vital role in how we feel about ourselves. For example, a person on Monday who willingly rejects to cleanse themselves and change out of their weekend clothes most likely feels like she looks. She may feel dirty, used, un-needed, and un-wanted. Like the clothing she has neglected to wear, she’s all over the place. And most likely, this person has low self esteem.
Another example is what we see on a daily basis. Women who wear the shortest and the tightest clothing. She reveals to the world what Yah has given her to keep sacred and reveal only to her future husband. She’s beautiful and intelligent, but she lacks vision and gets no respect from the many men that surround her. She’s dressed like a whore and so she’s treated as such. So, how does this woman feel about herself? She most likely screams for attention on the inside. She has little to no self esteem and she hates herself. But she covers it up with a smile and an arrogant as well as conceited attitude. Her head is held high by the amount of male lovers she has attracted. She loves the clothes and weave. She even loves the negative attention she gets from men. So what they call her a bust-down and a whore, some attention is better than no attention. Now, clearly that makes no sense at all, but that is the message you are sending when you fail to love self first.
Loving self is the most important thing we can do for ourselves as Hebrew women. Except, before we can love self, we have to understand what love is. Believe it or not, many of us do not know. The women previously described will tell you they love themselves a whole lot. That will most likely be their justification for behaving the way they do. With open eyes should we even believe them, given their definition of love? See, to many Hebrew women, both young and old, love is defined as tradition and public opinion. We show our love for tradition by participating in worldly tradition un-researched that is damaging to our salvation. Furthermore, we show our love for public opinion by dressing and behaving in ways that fits today’s norm. We rock the Apple Bottoms, Rock-A-Wears, Stephanie Taylor’s and Douche Kabana’s because public opinion has told us it’s ok. Therefore a woman who fails to research her lost identity thus keeping tradition and harkening to public opinion, she loves herself given that definition of love. But what is love really? And how does this love teach us how to look at ourselves and began to love self? 1 John 4:7-8 tells us:
1John 4:7 Beloved ones, let us love one another, because love is of YAH, and everyone who loves has been born of YAH, and knows YAH.
1John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know YAH, for YAH is love. “
Allow me to explain using the example’s previously given. The woman who has neglected to change her clothes does not know Yah. This can be seen through her unwillingness to cleanse herself. She’s most likely depressed about life’s curses (Dueteronomy 28 & Leviticus 26) that has gotten her down. Only she does not know the curses. This unknown fact that has damaged her self-esteem has opened the doorway for that spirit of depression to seek in. However if this woman had known Yah, she would’ve known how to live and survive despite the curses. She would have known the curses and how not to allow the doorway of depression to envelope her because of it, but to fight it. On the contrary, you can’t fight a spirit with fists; a person would need Yah’s word. Therefore had she known Yah, she would’ve known how to protect herself against evil spirits; if she would’ve known Yah, she would’ve known love.
Now, the second woman, the one who loves how the world loves, she does not love self. Throughout scripture Yah gives examples of how to dress, speak and interact around men. Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10-31 describes the characteristics of a virtuous woman. This woman’s garments (clothing) portray strength and splendor (v25). She opens her mouth with wisdom (v26) and not pride and arrogance. (v26) Her tongue speaks torah or law and not hood slang. Verse 30 says how this woman is praised by her husband, so he respects her not disrespects her. But only because she respects herself, because she fears Yah. A woman who fears Yah is worthy to be praised as verse 30 describes. She’s beautiful, but her prettiness is not in vain because her beauty is portrayed by her works, therefore it is not skin deep. She dresses modestly because her ambitions of revealing all to her husband on that honeymoon night is strong. Therefore her body she treasures, it is also worthy to be praised. But our worldly woman knows none of this because she does not know Yah. So, she does not know love.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DRESS MODESTLY?
Now that we have laid our foundation, let us began by exemplifying exactly what it means to be modest in our attire. We, the Blessed Handmaidens of Yah & Yahoshua (BHYY), encourage our women seeking righteousness to dress and behave in a modest way. But, what exactly is it? And why is it so important to our image? Let’s start off first by defining Modesty:
Modesty - 1. humility: unwillingness to draw attention to your own achievements or abilities 2. sexual reserve: reserve in appearance, manner, and speech, especially in relation to sexual matters, moderation: moderation in size, scale, or extent, reasonable: not large, extreme, or excessive a modest income 4. simple: not showy, elaborate, or pretentious, not overtly sexual: reserved in appearance, manner, and speech, especially in relation to sexual matters.
So, now that we have defined what it means to be modest, let’s put it into context.
“The young woman dressed modestly for her upcoming interview.”
What this means ladies, is the total opposite of what it means to be a whore. You’re just toning it down. Instead of wearing the tight shorts we are used to, we would wear a long beautiful skirt or gown. Allow me to make myself clear, dressing modestly does not mean boring and it does not mean you cannot be sexy and beautiful with it. Remember, to be modest in appearance and speech is to not draw attention to yourself. As a woman of Yah, you would not have to draw attention to yourself, your works will speak for itself and you will find yourself falling in love again with yourself. Remember, before we can begin contemplating relationships with men, we must first start with the love of self.
I’ll use the attire of some Muslim women as an example. When a woman who is covered from head to toe, no skin showing at all, when she steps into a room, all eyes are on her. But they are different than the eyes that were looked upon the whore. Instead, these eyes are instantly intrigued by the level of respect this woman has for herself. All heads turn when she enters a room because her looks and her looks alone, demands respect and she gets it. When she walks past, men make way for her footsteps; everyone knows this woman loves herself, so it is easy for them to love her. Now, this is not saying become a Muslim or cover yourself from head to toe as the Muslim women do, this is just to show you an example of modesty.
Now, taking this same scenario, let’s take your typical woman who is far from loving herself. Again, she wears the shortest skirt and the tightest shirt. When she enters a room, all eyes are on her as well. Except they are the eyes of sexual lust. The hormones of the men are booming only because they know for a certainty that they can get to this woman. So instead of make way for her feet, they are drawn together in a circle. The spirit this woman carries draws them in like a magnet and they make their move. The woman however is grateful, she is aware of her beauty because she is beautiful; however what she is unaware of is that it’s not her beauty that has attracted these men. There has not been enough time to focus on her beauty for all eyes can’t stop staring at her breast. Nevertheless, these are her thoughts so she falls in what she thinks is love with one of the men who have succeeded. But remember her definition of love. It is one based on material wealth and public opinion, so she also loves based on material wealth and public opinion. Another example is one similar, this woman has not drawn the men to a circle, but she has drawn their minds to perverted thoughts that allow them to spread rumors based not on her person, but on what skin she has shown. This woman has shown no respect, no love for self, so she is not loved. I use these examples because our body image has a lot to do with our self esteem. This includes BODY LANGUAGE as well and SELF CONFIDENCE.
As a school girl I never dressed in clothes with booty and chest hanging out, but I still had that low self esteem because my body language showed I had no self confidence in myself. Your body language sisters, is very important. After we have changed our wardrobes to fit that suitable of a Yah fearing woman, we have to work on our body language next. The rolling of the eyes, the sucking of the teeth, the spreading of the legs in mixed company and the hanging of the head are all examples of how NOT to be. If we behave this way it won’t matter what kind of clothing we are wearing. For example, (real life example! lol) in college, I will never forget this girl. I forgot her name but she was one of the brightest students in our class. She was beautiful as well and dressed modestly so no one can ever say that she was disrespectful to herself. However, she always held her hands close to her chest along with her books with her head down. She never participated much in class discussions if not called upon. And again, her head was always in one position, to the ground. Now, I didn’t know anything about this girl but it was plain to see that she lacked self -esteem. Even though she dressed appropriately, her body language revealed that she did not love herself. What man would want to be with a woman who doesn’t love herself? What woman would want to hang out with a woman whose head is always to the ground? So ladies, please be aware of your body languages because it will reveal how you feel about yourself to others. (This includes facial expressions as well)
Self confidence ladies, also play a huge role in how others see us. A lot of people are confused between the words “Confidence” and “Arrogance”. There is no way these two can merge. A confident person (self-assured) does not need to make mention that she is confident. She does not need to put forth the extra effort to draw the attention to the fact that she is confident in her tasks. Instead, her works and her modest tone in her speech will speak for her. (Ex: Ahkotee AmaziYah is confident in her ability to teach a group of women about their roles.) A confident person will go to a job interview with their head up high speaking boldly in their knowledge of the company. On the other hand, an arrogant person (proudly contemptuous) has to make mention that they are good, speaking in a tone that shows no interest in the company, because she is “above” it. This arrogant person’s works never speaks because her mouth never shuts. This person too, hangs their head up high, but it is a false security for their self esteem, which is low. So she has to make it appear to be high, by downing the modest one who is confident that she will acquire the position.
Matthew 23:12 “And whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.”
Which leads to my next and last explanation of the importance of body image and self -esteem in the Hebrew woman: Her SPEECH
A person can tell a lot about you, by the way you speak. This is not to say to be phony and speak in a way or tongue that is not yours, however to speak in a respectful and professional manner that belongs to you. You can be the most intelligent self respecting person in the universe, but if your speech does not reflect that professionalism, it doesn’t matter how intelligent you think you are. Again, let’s think back to our virtuous woman in the book of Proverbs. She speaks wisdom and her husband is not ashamed of her words. Her mouth does not defile itself with profane words because she fears Yah:
Matthew 12:36 “And I say to you that for every idle word men speak, they shall give an account of it in the Day of Judgment.
Matthew 12:37 “For by your words you shall be declared righteous, and by your words you shall be declared unrighteous.”
She does not enclose“hood” professionalism, nor does she enclose an “educated” professionalism. Because to a virtuous woman, to be a professional means to belong to the profession of Yah’s word. She does not equate her knowledge to that of this world. In fact, to the world she is stupid, but to Yah she is wise:
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of Yah is the beginning of knowledge1; Fools despise wisdom and discipline.”
Proverbs 2:6 For Yah gives wisdom; Out of His mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
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In closing, it is very imperative that we focus on our body image and self-esteem when transforming ourselves into Yah fearing women. As women, we are not only examples to ourselves, but to our nation and others. We teach our daughters what it means to be a woman and are watched by our son until the day that they pick for themselves wives. Therefore it is important to be aware that EVERYTHING SPEAKS. The way we DRESS, our BODY LANGUAGE, SELF-CONFIDENCE, SPEECH, and MODESTY, all of these things speak and it is impossible for one to change without the other. We can’t expect to become, not only Yah fearing servants, but examples as well, if one of these things is out of place. Always remember ladies to be cautious of where you are in your walks and your level of modesty, professionalism, speech, attire, self-confidence, and body language. Even if you are new to this way of life, be careful of these things because if one is out of place it can send a false message.
I pray that Yah has given you further understanding, (through His MessiYah Yahoshua) of what it means to focus on improving our body image and increasing our self-esteem so that we can learn to love Yah, so that we can then love ourselves again, (some of us for the first time,) so that we can be loved by those who surround us. SHALOM.